A Senior’s Reflection on the Last Month of High School

**The media below contains the opinion of an individual student and therefore does not represent or speak to the values of Vestavia Hills High School and Vestavia Hills City Schools**

Photo courtesy of Google

The days are getting longer. Temperatures remain too stubborn to come back up, and though rain is frequent, the weather is lovely. When it is not raining, a thin sheet of yellow dust covers everything in sight, from windshields to park benches to patio furniture. You can practically feel the pollen the moment you step outside. It seems like spring has truly sprung, and make no mistake, the season of April showers and May flowers is in full swing. So too is senioritis, undoubtedly the scourge of every high school teacher with senior students this year. 

Yet it’s hard to believe, despite the warming weather and the ceaseless onslaught of sneezes caused by the pollen, and even despite the grad fever among all the seniors, that the date of graduation for Vestavia’s Class of 2025 is only a month away. 

It really does seem surreal. Sure, the math checks out; after four, seemingly-endless years, each chock-full with their own healthy mixes of homework, missed assignments, studying, procrastination, school dances, and time spent wondering what life will be like when you’re out of this place, of course this is the time we finally transition into formal adulthood. But something within the pit of my stomach refuses to accept that.

I never really believed that when it came time to graduate, I would feel all that bittersweet about things. Believe me, I loved high school. I worked hard for my grades, and I felt fulfilled by my studies, whether or not I truly cared about some of the classes I was taking. But I wasn’t a homebody, cooped up in my room with the sole intent of getting that “A”. I socialized, and I made friends I hope to keep for the rest of my life. I stayed out late sometimes, and if I missed an assignment or even failed a test on the following day, I could accept it with a smile because I knew that even then, I still wouldn’t trade those times spent with my friends. I got involved in extracurriculars and clubs (albeit a little late), and I found joy and fulfillment in those things too. I honestly believe I spent my four years at Vestavia well, and I feel properly equipped for my next four in college.

So why is it that there’s still a nagging feeling within me that just won’t give?

What I’ve come to realize in these past few weeks is that, no matter how much you do, and no matter how much you say you have no regrets, there will always be things you wish you could have done. It’s an inherent instinct within all of us to explore and seek out new things, and likewise, it’s inherent within all of us to resist change and to abstain from things that we either fear or don’t see value in. These urges trade off, and a good part of the time I have spent in high school has been used trying to find a balance between the two. But once you figure out that balance, you begin to wonder about what could have been. What if I had taken this class? What if I hadn’t taken this one? Should I have been more involved in my community? Why didn’t I try to branch out more than I did? Was my high school experience even that good?

To all these questions, I’ll pose one of my own: Does it even matter?

Does it even matter to ponder hypotheticals that you’ll never know the answer to? Certainly seems illogical to think so. We can’t change our pasts, no matter how much we might want to. Maybe regret is a natural thing, something that can’t ever really be put to bed. So, why bother worrying?

While we can’t ever change our pasts, and while we can’t ever fix the blemishes or minor spots that we perceive on our own lives, what we can do is use these regrets - lost opportunities, goals never pursued, potential friends that were never met, and so on - to inform our futures. Take it from me: use your high school experiences as a benchmark of what or what not to do in the future, and keep that nagging, bittersweet thorn in your side as a reminder of what your life is, what it is like, and what it can be. There’s no point in fretting over things we cannot control or change - and why should we, when there are chances to start something beautiful and new everywhere?